It is better to respond to people as they are, not as they should be. This is not about tolerance, doesn’t mean you must go along with them and what they do and say and it is not sentimental. It is a matter of understanding, because you will only respond correctly to any situation when it is fully understood, and understanding does not come from being diverted by what should be but only by awareness of what actually is.
This means your response is direct and true, is not rooted in the illusion of ideal or what should be. A person is what they are in the moment, and it could change at any moment and you can only respond to this in a true way when you see someone for what he or she actually is. This avoids conflict inwardly because it avoids struggle and is rooted in seeing rather than thinking about images that are irrelevant.
This does not mean thinking the person is right or that you must tolerate them or that you must go along with them, as I said before. The appropriate response, however, is not necessarily to fight; fighting comes from the conflict between what is and what you think it should be. To understand someone fully, you simply see them as they are. Anything else will create a need to struggle with them which will only create more confusion.