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50 Signs of a Narcissist

When dealing with a narcissist, their behavior can be bewildering and, in fact, it’s so insidious that you feel the effects before you recognize what the culprit is doing. It would be helpful to know the signs of the narcissist both in terms of what they do and their effects on you. Here goes:

  1. They constantly criticize. No one is better than them and they are better than everyone else: Including you. They will belittle you, talk down to you, do anything to make you look bad and make themselves look good.
  2. They demand more than they give. They feel entitled, like they deserve more than you. It’s all about them and what they want and you are not considered at all.
  3. They are dismissive. This is related to their constant criticism. They are often passive-aggressive, constantly implying that what you do or say is unimportant while expecting all the attention on what they do and say; they are unfair. They are competitive, belittle you, again, to make themselves look good.
  4. You feel bad. Simply put, you feel bad when you’re around them. Sometimes you don’t know why, because of the amount of gaslighting that they do. All you know is that when they are there with you, you feel small, degraded, unhappy. If you look into it, see what they do to you, you will discover why you feel this way.
  5. They gaslight. They make you doubt yourself and your competence. Make you think it’s all just your imagination, that they are not doing the things you think they are doing. They are master manipulators, and they do it just to get their way.
  6. You’re tired, they’re energized. You feel exhausted but they are happy and hyper. It’s because they’re using up all of your energy.
  7. You feel bad about yourself, they have a huge ego boost. Self explanatory, plus see 6.
  8. You have self-doubt, they are self-assured. See 5, plus, again, this is them building themselves up at your expense.
  9. They talk about themselves, but won’t include you. They are always talking about themselves, what they can do, what they need, their opinion; but won’t let you get a word in, won’t include you in the equation.
  10. They are domineering. They dominate the situation (whatever it is), shut you down when you try to talk, and are controlling in various ways. Often this takes the form of constant instruction.
  11. They are overbearing. Maybe this goes without saying, but yes they are overbearing. It’s hard to take a minute of them.
  12. They want to do whatever they want, only apply restrictions and rules to you. Basically they live by a double standard. What applies to you doesn’t apply to them. They should get what they want but not you. They need a break, but not you. They make up rules they don’t follow but enforce on you – if they can get away with it.
  13. They are never wrong. Of course, there isn’t a person on Earth that is never wrong, but somehow miraculously, this narcissist is capable of never being wrong. They never hold themselves accountable for what they do and if you call them on it, they simply deny it and turn it around and say it’s you.
  14. They deny everything. They simply deny anything bad about themselves.
  15. They have massive egos. Their identity, image of themselves is always projected out there for the world to see.
  16. They think they’re special. And they think everyone else is below them.
  17. Demand special treatment. And without having to work for it.
  18. Do nothing to fix things. But they will create an overwhelming amount of damage for you to repair.
  19. They create chaos. The purpose here, of them creating chaos, is so they have some source of control.
  20. They are argumentative. They are combative, often with the motive of stealing your energy, but also to deny they’ve done anything wrong. They will deny wrong-doing  before they will ever even consider whether they are wrong or not.
  21. You’re doing all the work. Because they don’t feel they have to and, at the same, they deny that they aren’t doing any of the work.
  22. They will isolate you. At some point, you’ve lost contact with family and friends and don’t do any of the things you used to do. They want to exploit you and can’t do it with too much interference or with you away too long. They keep you from escaping.
  23. They are insensitive. They only care about themselves, they don’t care about you.
  24. They have no remorse. Of course, whether they are unaware of what they do or just deny it, they don’t particularly care what happens to you.
  25. Everything is about them.
  26. They hate for others to succeed. To them, only they can win, they don’t like others to win.
  27. They are liars. They do whatever it takes to keep themselves up and to keep you down.
  28. They hate your friends and family. See 22.
  29. They won’t help you. See 25.
  30. They demand help. See 21 and 25.
  31. They are feelings-centered. It’s all about their feelings. There is no logic there at all.
  32. Braggarts. See 25.
  33. They are always scheming and manipulating. Anything to get their way.
  34. They are destructive. This might be the most notable trait. Most of what they do is destructive. They don’t build anybody up except themselves.
  35. They are overly-concerned with what others do. Because they are always concerned about what effect it has on them; this includes whether others are better than them or what they like or don’t like about what others do. It’s still all about them.
  36. They are overly-concerned with how they are seen. It’s a big ego trip for them. They want to be top dog and can’t look bad.
  37. It’s all win or lose, nothing in between. And they must always win and you must always lose. With everything.
  38. They hate to be exposed. If there is one way to make a narcissist explode, it’s to call them on the carpet.
  39. They hate to be beaten. They can’t lose, they can’t look bad, they can’t be wrong.
  40. They are constantly comparing. Everybody else is so much less than them, blatantly stated or passive-aggressively implied.
  41. They are charming and entertaining. Strangely enough, because of that huge ego and tendency toward manipulation, they are often fun and entertaining with a good dose of charm.
  42. They are inconsiderate. They leave messes for other people to deal with, say offensive things without regard, etc.
  43. They are delusional. It almost goes without saying, but they are actually in fantasy land. They have a false sense of grandeur and have a distorted view of other people, particularly in relation to them. They really don’t see you at all, and what they see of themselves is totally false.
  44. They are oblivious. They don’t seem to be actually aware, in a real way, of other people and their needs or wants or who they really are. They are just absorbed with themselves and what they want.
  45. They will keep you any way they can to use you. If you feel yourself being manipulated back into their clutches when you know very well that they’ve been abusing you, you have an expert narcissist on your hands.
  46. You are turning into them. One of the problems with being around a narcissist for too long, in the effort to combat their abuse, you take on their characteristics; you can’t do all the work, so, like them, you quit doing the work altogether; you can’t take all the blame, so you stop holding yourself accountable for anything at all; you stop admitting when you’re wrong even when you are. This is all an attempt to keep this relationship from becoming completely lopsided, with the narcissist getting everything and you being drained with nothing.
  47. They are always competitive. As stated, they’re mentality is that it’s all about winning for them and losing for everyone else and they can’t lose no matter what. Again, this is also why they are always comparing.
  48. They turn everything around on you. If you tell them they are doing something wrong, they will almost always say it’s you doing it and not them. Another gaslighting tactic.
  49. They are attention seekers.
  50. They identify with what they have. Everything to them is on the surface, superficial. It’s all about how they are seen and if they look better.

narcissist

So, as you can see much of the items on this list overlap and are inter-related but it’s worth it to see the different forms that the narcissist’s tendencies take to get an idea of what exactly you’re dealing with in various situations. Hopefully in this way you are adequately armed to understand and deal with the monstrosity known as narcissism.

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